How to Deal with a Partner Who Is Resistant to Therapy

Relationship Counseling in Temecula with Janine Piernas, LMFT

How to Deal with a Partner Who Is Resistant to Therapy

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re feeling frustrated, confused, or even helpless because your partner is resistant to seeking couples therapy or relationship counseling. You’re not alone. Many couples face this challenge, and it can feel discouraging when one partner isn’t willing to openly engage in the process of healing and growth.

As a couples therapist serving Temecula and Murrieta, I’ve seen firsthand how resistance can be a hurdle—but also how it can be addressed with patience, understanding, and the right approach. If you want to foster change and create a healthier, more connected relationship, here are some expert strategies to consider.

Understand the Root of Resistance

Couples therapy Temecula

Resistance to therapy often stems from fear—fear of vulnerability, fear of change, or even fear of confronting difficult emotions. Your partner may worry about being judged, feeling exposed, or losing control. Sometimes, cultural or past experiences with therapy can also generate apprehension.

Tip: Approach your partner with empathy. Instead of insisting or pressuring, express understanding of their feelings. For example, “I know this is hard for you, and I appreciate you considering it.” Showing support can help lower their defenses.

Focus on Your Own Growth and Healing

While it’s ideal to work together, sometimes your willingness to seek personal growth can inspire your partner to consider therapy themselves. Attending individual counseling or self-help sessions can demonstrate your commitment to the relationship and model healthy behavior.

Expert insight: Many couples find that when one partner begins to change and become more emotionally available, it encourages the other to do the same. This isn’t about fixing them but about creating a healthier dynamic for both of you.

Highlight the Benefits Without Pressure

Instead of framing therapy as a cure for “what’s wrong,” focus on the positive outcomes—better communication, increased intimacy, reduced conflict, and a stronger partnership.

Tip: Share how couples therapy in Temecula or Murrieta has helped other couples you’ve worked with. You can say, “Many couples come in feeling unsure, but leave with tools that improve their connection and bring joy back into their relationship.” You can learn more about my approach here: Relationship Counseling in Temecula.

Offer Alternatives and Flexibility

If your partner is hesitant about traditional therapy sessions, consider alternative formats such as intensives. These are focused, immersive sessions designed to create rapid progress and deeper connection—often over a weekend or a single day.

Why it works: Intensives tend to feel less intimidating than weekly therapy and allow couples to dive deep into core issues in a supportive environment.

Learn more about my couples intensives in Temecula here: Couples Therapy & Intensives.

When to Seek Professional Help for Resistance

If resistance persists, it may be beneficial for you to attend therapy alone. A skilled couples therapist can help you navigate the challenges, improve communication, and develop a strategy to encourage your partner’s participation when they’re ready.

Remember: You cannot force someone to change, but you can create a safe space and demonstrate your commitment to healing. Also, when you start changing, your change still impacts the relationship, if even in small ways. You could also direct your partner to read the blog article, “8 Signs that you need Couples Counseling” written by Janine Piernas, LMFT, couples therapist in Temecula, CA.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a resistant partner can be incredibly frustrating, but it’s important to stay patient and compassionate—for yourself and for your partner. Change often takes time, and sometimes, the most powerful step is simply planting the seed for future growth.

If you’re in Temecula or Murrieta and looking for expert guidance on how to manage resistance to couples therapy, I invite you to explore my services. Together, we can work toward creating a stronger, healthier relationship.

Visit piernastherapy.com to learn more about my approach to couples therapy in Temecula and relationship counseling near Murrieta and or schedule a free 20 minute consultation to discuss and explore options.

You deserve love, connection, and the happiness that comes from working through difficult times together.