You still love each other. You have just lost the way back.
Research-based couples therapy for partners who are tired of the same fight, the slow distance, and feeling alone in the same house. You do not have to be in crisis to come. You only have to want to be closer, and be willing to do what it takes to get back there.
Couples Therapy in Temecula, CA and Online Across California
Research-based marriage and relationship therapy with Janine Piernas, LMFT, using the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help couples reconnect, communicate, and rebuild trust.
You Love Each Other.
That Has Never Really Been the Question.
It looks like this. You sit on opposite ends of the couch, both on your phones. You talk about the kids, the calendar, who is handling dinner, and almost never about the two of you. You say you are fine when someone asks. And late at night, lying a foot apart, one of you is quietly wondering how two people who still love each other ended up this lonely.
I know this place. After more than fifteen years of sitting with couples in exactly this spot, here is the first thing I can tell you. You are not broken, and you have not failed. You are two people who got stuck in a pattern, and patterns can be changed. That is the whole work, and you will not do it alone.
JanineThe Thing Underneath
the Thing You Fight About.
Most couples therapy works on how you talk. I work on why you stopped. Read these, and notice how many you recognize.
“We fight about the dishes, the money, the in-laws, the same things over and over.”
You are not actually fighting about any of those. You are fighting about whether you still matter to each other. I listen for that underneath the surface argument, and I say it out loud, so you can finally have the real conversation instead of the proxy one.
“They just shut down and go cold. Like they do not even care anymore.”
A partner who shuts down is almost never cold. They are flooded, and going quiet is the only way they know to stop making it worse. Once you both see what is really happening in that moment, the whole fight changes shape.
“I am always the one chasing, always the one who brings it up. I am exhausted.”
That pursue-and-withdraw loop is not a flaw in either of you. It is one of the most predictable, and most fixable, patterns I treat. When one of you stops chasing and the other stops hiding, you find each other in the middle.
“We have tried talking about it. It just turns into another fight.”
Because no one ever taught you how to have that conversation safely. That is a skill, not a personality trait, and it is learnable. I teach it, and we practice it together in the room until it starts to feel like yours.
“Maybe we are just not compatible anymore. Maybe this is as good as it gets.”
Most couples who feel that way are not incompatible. They are disconnected, and disconnection is reversible. Compatibility is something you build together, not something you quietly run out of. I will show you how to rebuild it.
If reading those felt like someone describing your own living room, that is not a coincidence. It is what I do, usually before you have finished the first few sentences.
Stuck doesn't mean broken. It means you have not found your way back to each other yet.
Most Couples Therapy, You Talk for Weeks.
With Me, You Leave the First Session With Tools.
Your very first session is not ninety minutes of rehashing your history while I nod. It is a relationship reset. We set new ground rules for how you treat each other, you learn three communication tools you can use that same night, we practice them together in the room, and you walk out with a written blueprint for rebuilding how you talk. You will feel the difference before you reach the car.
You Deserve a Therapist
Who Will Tell You the Truth.
I am Janine Piernas, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than fifteen years of experience with couples. I am not a smile-and-nod therapist. I am warm, but I am direct. I will name the pattern you are stuck in gently and clearly, and then I will hand you something to do about it. You leave my sessions with tools, not just feelings.
You Are Not the Only Couple
Who Has Felt This Way.
Nobody Prepares You for What a Baby
Does to a Relationship.
No one is sleeping. The baby is the priority now, and no one warned you how completely that would take over. The intimacy fades. The resentment builds over who is carrying more. Your life stops feeling like it belongs to you. You start to feel like roommates running a very small, very demanding business together. This is one of the most common seasons I work with, and it is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a transition, and with the right support, it can become the thing that brings you back to each other.
Book Your Free ConsultationOne of You Booked This.
The Other Came With Arms Crossed.
That is not the exception. In most couples I see, one partner reached out and the other walked in braced for a fight, or for a therapist who would quietly decide they were the problem. I do not take sides, and I do not gang up. I am fair to both of you, and the hesitant partner usually feels that in the first ten minutes. You do not have to be convinced before you come. You do not even have to believe it will work. You only have to be willing to sit down one time and find out.
Start With a Free ConsultationWhat Couples Therapy
Costs With Janine.
Every couple begins with a Relationship Reset. You leave that very first session with real tools and a written plan, not just a list of what is wrong. Whether or not you ever book a second session, the first one is time well spent.
Most couples find the investment worth it, given what is at stake. A relationship that works, children who grow up in a stable home, and two people who actually like each other again, is worth far more than the cost of a few months of sessions.
I take a limited number of couples at a time, so each one gets my full focus, and I do not keep waiting lists. Couples wait long enough before they reach out. When you finally call, you deserve an immediate opening, or an honest referral to a provider I trust who can see you now.
A gentle truth: the longer a pattern runs unchecked, the deeper the grooves get. The sooner you interrupt it, the less there is to undo.
Couples Who Found
Their Way Back to Each Other.
Janine created a safe space for open communication. She listened with empathy and offered insights that genuinely helped us understand each other better. The guidance was incredibly practical, and we found ourselves applying the techniques outside of our appointments. Our relationship has transformed for the better. Thank you, Janine, our marriage whisperer.
After speaking with her in the initial consultation we knew right away she was the right choice for us. I love that Janine phased us down because she saw we were growing in the areas we needed to. That says it is not about the money. She is a therapist who truly cares about her clients and their families.
Our top priority was a straightforward approach we could maintain for the long-term growth of our relationship, with a therapist who could keep a neutral stance and not let sessions turn into mere venting. Fortunately, we discovered Janine. Her approach is remarkably balanced and effective. I wholeheartedly recommend her without any hesitation.
Ms. Janine provides a healthy, safe environment where you can openly express yourselves and feel heard. She helped us through a difficult marriage situation. She is professional, attentive, thorough and impartial. She provided helpful tools to guide us back to a healthy place in our marriage. If you are willing to put in the work, she will guide you through this chapter in your life.